The only reason I am sending today's newsletter is consistency. Consistency is something I have been struggling with my whole life. It's the fear of disappointment (mainly disappointing myself) / the fear of failure (although what does it mean to fail?) that so many times has prevented me from creating something. (I think I have said that before.)
It's the easier and safer way to do nothing. And sometimes it's pure laziness.
But lately, I am all about consistency and persistence, which means it is not about the end product, but about doing it just for the sake of doing.
It's what they teach you in writing, in basically everything creative you do. Be ready to disappoint yourself. Be ready to produce shit. Be consistent.
Morning pages for example are a great way to practice that and unleash creativity, but it works only if you write them daily. Morning pages are a concept that became popular since Julia Cameron's book The Artist Way, which is, by the way, a book on my reading list. But I also found this interesting article that gives you more background on Julia Cameron and her story and why her book is empowering. (Tip: if you open the article in a private window, you can read it without subscription or log in.)
So far, I admit, I am not doing great with my morning pages (also, I haven't read the book yet), but I thought if already no morning pages, let me be at least consistent with the newsletter.
But that's already it. It's all you are getting today. I am sorry, I am not feeling it. My brain is failing me, basically I am having too many thoughts at the same time.
I drew you a picture of my brain instead.
Yesterday, I yelled in my pillow. It felt terrific. In the beginning, it was supposed to be a joke, just acting, like in a scene you'd watch in a movie, but then I actually yelled all my emotions into that squared, filled cloth bag. I can just recommend it.
I am watching bullshit and eating junk food.
I am avoiding the real world.
Currently, I am on holiday in Monterey with my friends Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, Shailene Woodley, Laura Dern, and Zoë Kravitz.
Going on holidays is what I call binge-watching. Here is what happens to your brain when you binge-watch TV series.
"When engaged in an activity that's enjoyable such as binge watching, your brain produces dopamine," she explains. "This chemical gives the body a natural, internal reward of pleasure that reinforces continued engagement in that activity. It is the brain's signal that communicates to the body, 'This feels good. You should keep doing this!' When binge watching your favorite show, your brain is continually producing dopamine, and your body experiences a drug-like high. You experience a pseudo-addiction to the show because you develop cravings for dopamine."
I did my taxes, though. In the real world. It’s my first Steuererklärung ever; because I received short-time work money (Kurzarbeitergeld, short KU) last year, I am obliged to make my tax declaration for 2020. If you also had been receiving KU in 2020, Taxfix offers a free tax return for everyone who were on ‘Kurzarbeit’ or lost their job in 2020 until the 31st of March. Depending on how long you received Kurzarbeit, you might have to pay some money back. I had to pay, but at least it’s done. Out of the head. One more checkmark.
I have been reading and thinking about
A White Man’s Bad Day by Roxane Gay
Column: Atlanta shooting suspect’s ‘bad day’ and the whitewashing of white crime by Rex Huppke
'I didn’t choose to be straight, white and male': are modern men the suffering sex? by Rose Hackman
What is the Crypto Art Market?
What's Jesse Singal's Fucking Deal?
Why Is Ethiopia at War With Itself? ( please note when reading this article that Ethopian’s Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed received the noble peace prize in 2019!)
Taking MDMA could help to treat alcoholism, study suggests
Drei Seiten - Die eine, die andere und die Wahrheit by Hatice Akyün
I discovered and endorse
Period Panties
Since I didn’t feel 100% convinced by the moon cup, I switched to period panties by femtis and ooia (sustainable, fair, vegan, businesses run by women), and I absolutely love them - they are so comfortable and sexxxy! So if you are also tired of tampons and bullshit, check them out. I find they are also nice birthday presents, but maybe that’s just me?!
Stories about Berlin people
Trampolín Mag is an online magazine created by Paula Yacomuzzi about people from Latin America and Spain living in Berlin. And Come Closer is a photo series by Julia Liebisch-Peschl portraying intimate love stories of couples in Berlin.
The End
This is already the end. But I want to thank you for all the positive feedback I received for the last two newsletters. It sticks with me. A clear mind is somewhere down there; it just probably needs a couple weeks more to figure out its shit. A touch of sunshine will help.
I throw you the ball.
What’s one thing that keeps you inspired in this grey, cold March?
Comment, email, text <3
And remember
Much love,
Za